If They Benefit From Confusion, They’ll Never Offer Clarity

You keep trying to make sense of what they’re doing. The mixed signals. The half-apologies. The way they get defensive when you ask direct questions.

You replay the conversations. You check your tone. You wonder if you were too sensitive.

But deep down, you feel it — they know exactly what they’re doing.

Confusion is a tactic.

When someone thrives in chaos, they’ll never make you feel safe. Because the moment you feel clear, you’ll walk away.

So they give you breadcrumbs. They say enough to keep you hoping. They act right just long enough to reset the cycle.

But consistent behavior? Emotional safety? Transparency?

That would threaten their control. And control is all they ever wanted.

People who benefit from confusion don’t need help communicating.

They need access denied.

You’ve bent over backwards trying to “communicate better.” You’ve over-explained. You’ve justified. You’ve forgiven silence with overthinking.

You believed that if you could just find the right words, they’d finally see your worth.

But your worth isn’t the problem. Their investment in your confusion is.

Here’s the hard truth:

• They know how to be honest. They choose not to be.

• They know how to make you feel safe. They prefer power over peace.

• They know how to love. But not without strings.

I wrote Mothered by Survival for women who learned to survive emotional mind games. Women who were trained to doubt their instincts. Women who were gaslit so well, they forgot how to trust their gut.

When someone benefits from you being unsure of yourself, your healing becomes the threat.

And that’s where your power lives.

You don’t need another conversation. You don’t need a clearer script. You need distance.

Peace will never feel familiar if all you’ve known is tension. But once you taste it, you’ll never negotiate with chaos again.

➡️ If you’re tired of analyzing mixed signals and making excuses for people who don’t respect you, my book Mothered by Survival will help you see the games for what they are — and take your power back.