Standards based boundaries saved my life

There was a time I thought walking away made me weak. That leaving meant failure. That setting boundaries made me selfish, dramatic, or ungrateful.

I carried guilt like a second skin. Not because I had done something wrong — but because I was finally doing something right. And for women like us, choosing peace can feel like betrayal.

But the truth is… boundaries saved my life.

Not in a metaphorical way. Not in a self-help book kind of way. Literally.

They helped me recognize what was mine and what was never supposed to be.

They helped me leave situations that were slowly breaking me down while everyone around me kept saying, “You’re so strong. Just hang in there.”

But I didn’t want to just survive. I wanted to feel alive. And that required one thing I never had before: standards.

Standards-based boundaries changed everything.

They helped me stop begging for basic respect. They helped me stop justifying mistreatment just because I was “loved.” They helped me stop trying to communicate with people who only listened to themselves.

And they helped me walk away without apology.

Because once I knew what I was worthy of, once I got clear on the kind of peace I deserved, the guilt fell away.

Not all at once. But enough for me to keep walking.

You don’t need to justify why you’re tired. You don’t need a dramatic story to deserve your exit. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for choosing something healthier.

If they’re offended by your boundaries, they were benefiting from your lack of them.

I wrote Mothered by Survival for the woman I used to be. The one who made excuses for red flags. The one who held it down while losing herself. The one who kept choosing loyalty over peace.

If that’s you… you don’t have to wait for rock bottom. You don’t have to wait for permission. You just need a standard — and the courage to honor it.

➡️ If you're trying to leave something that’s draining you, and you're scared of the guilt that comes with it, this book will walk you through it — one standard at a time.